Every week on 89.9 The Light, I answer questions from mothers and talk about navigating the realities of modern motherhood. No two families are the same, so these conversations aren’t about giving one right answer. They’re about helping women better understand what’s happening beneath the surface, so they can make decisions that work for them.
In this episode, we explore some of the questions many mums carry internally but don’t always say out loud – from finding moments for yourself while exclusively breastfeeding, to the guilt that can come with resting, changing friendships after becoming a parent, and why asking for help can be difficult.
In this episode:
- How to prioritise yourself while exclusively breastfeeding
- Why asking for help and accepting help are two different skills
- The myth that mothers should be able to do it all alone
- How partners can better share the mental load using the “Notice and Do” approach
- Why many mums feel guilty when they rest
- The connection between productivity, self-worth and motherhood
- Navigating friendship changes after becoming a parent
- Understanding matrescence and identity shifts
- Practical ways to care for yourself during demanding seasons.
Matrescence and motherhood
Although these questions cover different parts of motherhood, they’re connected by a common thread. Many mothers believe they’re supposed to keep coping, keep giving and somehow fit their own needs into whatever time is left over.
What I see, both in my coaching and in conversations like these, is that many of these struggles make much more sense when we understand matrescence. Becoming a mother isn’t simply adding another role to your life. It’s a significant developmental transition that can reshape your identity, relationships, priorities and sense of self.
When we understand that context, we stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and begin asking more helpful questions about what we need, what’s realistic in this season, and how we can care for ourselves without feeling guilty.
If you’re navigating similar questions and would like personalised support, you can find out more about my coaching or browse more articles on motherhood, matrescence and working motherhood.
Note: In this video, I reference the “Notice and Do” approach in relation to domestic tasks. I first heard this principle from author and parenting coach Sam Kelly, who has written a book on the topic, also called, “Notice and Do.”
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