Every week on 89.9 The Light, I answer questions from mothers navigating the realities of modern motherhood.
These conversations aren’t about having all the answers. They’re about making sense of experiences that so many women carry, often believing they’re the only ones feeling this way.
In this video, we explore four different questions, leading us to the common challenges of mum guilt, comparison, identity, purpose, emotional overwhelm and balancing ambition with family life. We also talk about how partners can offer meaningful support, and why understanding matrescence can change the way we see ourselves.
In this episode
- Why mum guilt can continue long after the baby years
- How comparison steals confidence and joy
- The difference between healthy guilt and unhelpful guilt
- Practical ways to develop self-compassion
- Why we’re often kinder to friends than we are to ourselves
- Losing and rediscovering your sense of purpose after children
- Balancing ambition, career and motherhood
- How single mums can reconnect with their goals and identity
- What partners can do when they don’t know how to help
- Why listening is often more powerful than fixing
- Understanding emotional overwhelm in motherhood
- The role of matrescence in reshaping priorities and values
- How to strengthen your connection with your children despite a busy schedule
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction to Louise East and listener follow-up on mum guilt
01:00 – Does mum guilt ever go away?
03:00 – Comparison, parenting challenges, and self-compassion
04:45 – Why we’re often our own harshest critics
07:10 – What self-compassion actually looks like in practice
10:35 – Rewiring negative self-talk and unrealistic expectations
11:45 – “I’ve lost my sense of purpose” – a listener question
13:15 – Identity shifts during motherhood and matrescence
15:00 – How to reconnect with goals, passions, and ambition
17:00 – Can ambitious women still thrive after becoming mums?
20:30 – Making decisions that fit the current season of life
22:00 – What partners can do when mums don’t know what they’re feeling
23:20 – Ambivalence in motherhood: feeling two things at once
24:10 – Expanding your emotional vocabulary
26:00 – Why mums often expect partners to “just know”
27:45 – The power of listening instead of fixing
30:10 – Balancing parenting, work, and life’s biggest priorities
32:00 – Why raising children was never meant to be a solo job
35:00 – Quality time vs quantity time with your children
37:15 – How busy parents can strengthen connection with their kids
39:15 – Choosing priorities and creating healthy family boundaries
41:00 – Final thoughts and where to connect with Louise
What these questions have in common
At first glance, these questions seem to cover very different parts of motherhood – guilt, purpose, relationships, career, parenting. Yet they all point to the same underlying experience.
Motherhood changes us. It reshapes our identity, our relationships, our priorities and often the way we measure ourselves. Many women expect to return to the person they were before children, only to discover they’re navigating an entirely new stage of development without a map.
When we don’t understand that transition, it’s easy to blame ourselves. We assume we’re not coping well enough, we’re falling behind, or we’re somehow failing because we can’t meet the expectations we’ve placed on ourselves. Understanding matrescence helps us see that many of these feelings aren’t signs that we’re doing motherhood badly. They’re a normal response to one of life’s biggest developmental transitions.
That doesn’t make the challenges disappear, but it does give us a different starting point. From there, we can begin to respond with greater self-compassion, question the expectations we’re carrying, reconnect with what matters most, and make choices that support both ourselves and our families.
If you’re navigating similar questions and would like personalised support, you can find out more about my coaching or browse more articles on motherhood, matrescence and working motherhood.
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