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Every week on 89.9 The Light, I answer questions from mothers and talk about navigating the realities of modern motherhood. No two families are the same, so these conversations aren't about giving one right answer. They're about helping women better understand what's...
One day I noticed how many thoughts in my head started with “I have to…”. I have to reply to that message. I have to organise school forms. I have to keep on top of work. I have to exercise. I have to clean the kitchen. I have to be patient. I have to remember that...
When I was little, I was known as “the good girl.” Quiet, easy and well behaved. I hardly spoke in class because I was painfully shy (sometimes I even felt tears welling up if the teacher said my name for something good!). I worried about getting things wrong,...
You might recognise this particular kind of fatigue. The kind that comes from being capable for so long. From being the one people rely on. From holding things together quietly, competently, without complaint. Until one day, you notice the question forming underneath...
Many women experience a loss of confidence in motherhood. Psychology Dictionary Online defines self-confidence as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day-to-day challenges and...
Overfunctioning can be simpler to understand than to spot in our lives because people who overfunction tend to be seen as very responsible, reliable, helpful, competent and caring. They do all the things for all the people. Society celebrates people who are constantly...
Have you ever called yourself a bad mum, either out loud or in your mind? I certainly have and I know many other mums have too. I’ve been thinking about this label that we use. Why is it so prevalent? What does it even mean? And what is the impact of using it? I’m...
How would you define a strong woman? Perhaps you might use some of the following descriptions: Physically strong Confident Hard to persuade Unflappable Resilient Determined Independent In control Focused on her goals. I used to think that being a strong woman...
Have you ever heard that saying that goes something like “I was a much better parent before I had children”? I love it. Parenting is often much harder than we expect. We imagine that parenting will involve joyous afternoons at the park, quiet snuggles on the lounge (I...
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are stories that we tell ourselves that aren’t necessarily true. They are distortions or negative interpretations of ourselves, what is happening around us, the past or the future, based on our beliefs and assumptions. ANTs happen...
When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...
Dear Perfectionism, I’ve decided it’s time we parted ways. We’ve been together a long time. I’m not even sure how it happened, but somewhere in childhood you became my constant companion. You came with me into adulthood and by that time I thought you were an asset. I...