If you’re reading this as a working mother with flexible working arrangements, chances are you’ve felt that familiar knot in your stomach. The one that tightens when you need to leave for school pickup, when you decline the 4pm meeting, or when you catch a colleague’s raised eyebrow as you pack up your laptop at 3:30pm.
You’re not alone in these feelings, and more importantly, you’re not wrong for having them.
The Weight of Unspoken Judgements
The concerns you carry are real and valid. You worry that:
- Working from home three days a week makes you seem less committed.
- Leaving at 3pm signals you’re not serious about your career, even though you’re back online after the kids are in bed.
- Your part-time schedule makes colleagues question your dedication, despite consistently delivering high-quality work.
- Taking two hours out of your workday to attend your child’s school assembly makes you appear unprofessional, even though you’ll make up the time later, and you wouldn’t miss other important commitments.
These aren’t irrational fears – they’re responses to very real workplace dynamics that working mothers navigate daily. The anxiety about being perceived as less professional, productive, committed, ambitious, or less valuable is a natural reaction to systems that still equate presence with productivity and hours with dedication.
Your feelings are completely normal. The fact that you’re even thinking about these perceptions shows how much you care about your work and your reputation. That’s not something to apologise for – it’s something to recognise as a strength.
The Reality Behind the Bias
Here’s what’s actually happening: you’re operating in workplaces built around outdated models that assume everyone has a full-time partner managing home responsibilities. These environments often conflate visibility with value, mistaking face time for output, and equating traditional schedules with commitment.
The truth is that working mothers with flexible working arrangements often outperform their colleagues with more traditional working arrangements. You’re likely getting more done in your condensed schedule than many colleagues accomplish in traditional eight-hour days.
Yet the perception gap persists. Why? Because workplace cultures change slowly, and unconscious bias runs deep. Some colleagues may unconsciously assume that because you’re not always physically present, you’re not fully engaged. Others might project their own insecurities about work-life balance onto your choices. There is also maternal bias to contend with – the myth that mothers are less committed and less competent at work. This isn’t reality, it’s a myth!
Here’s the crucial shift: their perception is their problem to solve, not yours to fix by sacrificing your wellbeing or your family’s needs.
Reclaiming Your Agency
You have more power in this situation than you realise. While you can’t control others’ initial reactions, you absolutely can influence how they perceive your work over time. You can’t change biased colleagues overnight, but you can change how you present your contributions and advocate for your value.
The key is shifting from defensive to strategic, from apologetic to confident, from reactive to proactive.
Instead of hoping others will notice your contributions, make them impossible to ignore. Rather than apologising for your schedule, own it as a strategic advantage. Instead of feeling guilty about your choices, recognise them as evidence of your ability to optimise and prioritise.
Unrealistic Expectations and Double Standards
Let’s be honest about what working mothers face: unrealistic expectations and double standards that would be laughable if they weren’t so exhausting.
You’re expected to be as available as someone without children while also being the primary parent. You’re supposed to attend every after-hours networking event while managing bedtime routines. You’re meant to be flexible enough to handle last-minute meetings while maintaining rigid school and childcare pickup schedules.
Combined, these expectations aren’t just unrealistic – they’re impossible. And recognising this isn’t making excuses; it’s acknowledging reality.
The working world is slowly catching up to the fact that the traditional 9 to 5, office-bound model doesn’t work for many people, particularly parents. Your flexible working arrangement isn’t a deviation from the norm – it’s part of the evolution toward more human-centred work practices.
Practical Strategies for Managing Perceptions
MAKE YOUR WORK VISIBLE
Don’t assume your contributions speak for themselves. Send weekly recap emails highlighting what you’ve accomplished. Share progress updates proactively. Speak up in meetings to showcase your involvement in key projects. Visibility isn’t bragging – it’s professional communication.
COMMUNICATE PROACTIVELY
Instead of apologising for your schedule, communicate it strategically. “I’ll be offline from 3-6pm for family commitments and will respond to emails after 7pm” sets clear expectations. “I’m working from home tomorrow to focus on the quarterly report without interruption” positions your choice as intentional and work-focused.
DOCUMENT YOUR IMPACT
Keep a running record of your accomplishments, problems you’ve solved, and value you’ve added. This isn’t for others – it’s for you. When imposter syndrome creeps in or someone questions your commitment, you’ll have concrete evidence of your contributions. Plus, it’s a handy reference for your performance review discussions.
REFRAME YOUR LANGUAGE
Stop apologising for working efficiently. Instead of “Sorry, I have to leave early,” try “I’ll have this completed and ready for review first thing tomorrow.” Replace “I know I work weird hours” with “My schedule allows me to provide coverage during both core business hours and after-hours deadlines.”
CHOOSE YOUR MOMENTS STRATEGICALLY
You don’t need to be present for everything, but be intentional about when you are visible. Show up for key meetings, important presentations, and team celebrations whenever possible. Your strategic presence will have more impact than constant availability.
OWN YOUR EFFICIENCY
Frame your flexible working as a competitive advantage. “I condensed that analysis into two focused hours this morning” sounds very different from “I only had two hours to work on it.” Highlight how your schedule enables better work, not just different work.
KNOW THE VALUE YOU BRING
Remember this: your value you provide to your employer isn’t determined by the number of hours you spend in an office or the times you’re available for impromptu meetings. The quality of your work, the problems you solve, the relationships you build, and the results you deliver are the things your employer needs.
Wise colleagues and managers will see this. They’ll recognise that your ability to manage multiple priorities, optimise your time, and deliver results within constraints, are exactly the skills organisations need and that your flexible working arrangements are not a hinderance.
For those who can’t or won’t see your value? That’s information about them, not about you.
Moving Forward with Confidence
Managing perceptions as a working mother with flexible working arrangements isn’t about changing who you are or sacrificing what matters to you. It’s about being strategic in how you communicate your value, proactively showcasing your contributions, and being confident in your choices.
You don’t need to apologise for prioritising your family. You don’t need to feel guilty for working differently. You don’t need to prove your worth to people who are determined not to see it.
What you do need is to recognise your strength, communicate your value, and trust that smart workplaces and colleagues will appreciate what you bring to the table.
Your flexible working arrangement isn’t a limitation to work around – it’s an advantage to leverage. Own it, communicate it strategically, and let your results speak louder than outdated perceptions ever could.
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