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“Can you help me?” Four little words. They seem so simple yet mothers everywhere find them near impossible to say. What makes it hard is the meaning we attribute to asking for help. Without that meaning, asking for help is a neutral activity, neither positive or...
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are stories that we tell ourselves that aren’t necessarily true. They are distortions or negative interpretations of ourselves, what is happening around us, the past or the future, based on our beliefs and assumptions. ANTs happen...
Have there been times when you have you kept quiet when you had something to say? For example, when... Someone crossed your boundary or hurt you? Another child mistreated your child? You didn’t want to do something you were being asked to do? You didn’t agree? Someone...
Sadness, burnout, fear, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, frustration, anger, resentment, shame, embarrassment, disgust. Mothers feel them. But often we don’t like to talk about them. What will people think? If perfect mum is always composed, in control, calm, happy, on top...
Perfectionism is patterns of thinking and behaviours driven by the constant need to be or appear perfect (without flaws). It could also be described as the need to avoid being inadequate (anything less than perfect). For many years I proudly called myself a...
When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...
Letting go is a lesson and practice we live through over and over again. Life continues to present us with new opportunities to let go and sometimes we have such a tight grip on things, it takes several attempts to fully release. I love this quote from Ahjan Chah: “If...
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When my son was about 16 months old, I started to think about returning to work. I'd always expected I would return to the demanding corporate job that I loved. That’s what career women do. I expected I would place my son in childcare. That’s what working mothers do....
I know that we’re expected to be loving motherhood, sailing through each day with a smile on our faces. That’s the myth of the perfect mum. In reality, we all have bad days and we don’t have to pretend that everything is wonderful when it’s not. Allowing ourselves to...
Dear Perfectionism, I’ve decided it’s time we parted ways. We’ve been together a long time. I’m not even sure how it happened, but somewhere in childhood you became my constant companion. You came with me into adulthood and by that time I thought you were an asset. I...
Balance. It can be a tricky topic. Some women idealise the concept of balance and are constantly trying to achieve it. Others reject the idea that it’s possible and refuse to use the word at all. Some prefer to call it integration or harmony. Let's have a quick look...
