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Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are stories that we tell ourselves that aren’t necessarily true. They are distortions or negative interpretations of ourselves, what is happening around us, the past or the future, based on our beliefs and assumptions. ANTs happen...
Have there been times when you have you kept quiet when you had something to say? For example, when... Someone crossed your boundary or hurt you? Another child mistreated your child? You didn’t want to do something you were being asked to do? You didn’t agree? Someone...
Sadness, burnout, fear, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, frustration, anger, resentment, shame, embarrassment, disgust. Mothers feel them. But often we don’t like to talk about them. What will people think? If perfect mum is always composed, in control, calm, happy, on top...
Perfectionism is patterns of thinking and behaviours driven by the constant need to be or appear perfect (without flaws). It could also be described as the need to avoid being inadequate (anything less than perfect). For many years I proudly called myself a...
When my son was 4, he was playing in the playground after kindergarten and decided to give the monkey bars a try. He always watched the other children swinging across but still liked me to hold him as he moved his arms from bar to bar. This time he wanted to do it...
Before motherhood, I loved my job. I willingly put in long hours and massive amounts of effort and commitment to do a good job. I travelled regularly, took work home and derived a lot of satisfaction, pride and also a sense of identity from my paid work. As the...
When my son was about 16 months old, I started to think about returning to work. I'd always expected I would return to the demanding corporate job that I loved. That’s what career women do. I expected I would place my son in childcare. That’s what working mothers do....
Ever feel like you’re getting this self-care thing wrong? Not doing enough or doing too much. Not wanting to do it, not enjoying it enough or doing it with so much guilt. Not being consistent, not sticking to your plans or not starting at all. Not doing the right...
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I’m fascinated by volcanoes. My heart raced with excitement and awe when I stood in the hot steam rising from the ground, walked across kilometres of lava rock, and flew in a helicopter over the crater of the active volcano in Hawaii. When...
Balance. It can be a tricky topic. Some women idealise the concept of balance and are constantly trying to achieve it. Others reject the idea that it’s possible and refuse to use the word at all. Some prefer to call it integration or harmony. Let's have a quick look...
Does taking a break feel impossible? The sheer thought it makes you anxious or uncomfortable? Motherhood can feel all consuming, and when you add all the other responsibilities you're carrying, there just doesn’t seem to be time for a break. I’m not even necessarily...