Why you are not “just” a mum

I’ve heard way too many mums, say “I’m just a mum”.

It hurts my heart to hear it.

Using the word “just” seems to imply that being a mum isn’t really that important or noteworthy.

Why do we add the word “just” in there?

Is it because we:

• Don’t believe that being a mum is important?
• Think that being a mum isn’t that hard compared to other roles we could have?
• Feel like we’re making so many mistakes and really have no idea what we’re doing?
• Miss the parts of ourselves that don’t get a look in these days?
• Feel like our contribution to society, or our family, is less than the contributions of others?
• Have lost sight of who we are outside of caring for our children?
• Feel like we need to be contributing more financially?
• Doubt ourselves and don’t believe we are enough in general?

Whatever the reason, I want you to know that you don’t need to talk yourself down in your role as a mum.

Being a mum is a big deal.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every mum believed, that the word “just” doesn’t belong anywhere near the title of mum?

You are many things but you are not just a mum.

You are…

The most important person in the world to someone very special (or a number of them!).

Unique and special, unlike any other mum.

A woman with dreams, desires, talents, achievements and experience.

Brave, strong, smart, loving, funny, persistent, dedicated and beautiful.

That’s all YOU.

Valued and loved by many people for many reasons.

The greatest influence your children will ever have.

Preparing little ones to take on the world; protecting, guiding, loving and teaching the next generation.

A life-giver, life-sustainer and life-changer.

See, ‘just’ is simply inadequate to describe you.

You are a MUM. Amazing.

It’s the most important thing you’ll ever do.

I’m not the only one who thinks so…

I know that sometimes we need to hear the same message over and over before it sinks in and we can believe it. And sometimes, even though you’ve heard it a million times, one person says it in a way that just goes straight to your heart. So, I invited 12 amazing mums to share their own perspectives on what a mum is. 

Here they are:

I’ve never been a fan of the statement “I’m just a mum”. I really feel women need to be careful when choosing their words on this topic. As women choosing to be mothers, we have the greatest responsibility on earth and that is to birth and raise our next generation. It’s not easy and every child is different so we can only do the best we can and hope we raise children we can be so proud of. 

 

Before I was a mum, I was a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, an aunt, a friend, a colleague, an environmentalist, an engineer etc.  While I always wanted to be a mum, at one point, I nearly thought it would not happen. After much contemplation, I had decided that my happiness didn’t depend on external factors like having children, and that liberated me.

 

Being a mum now has changed me in many ways, but it also hasn’t at a fundamental level. I couldn’t imagine life without my children now. But I am also still me, with many other roles that haven’t changed. I just now need to be mindful of not forgetting my other roles in the midst of busy mothering. I still love my interests and passions, but now they have expanded to include my family in that enjoyment.

Suk-yi Lo – The Caffeine Trifecta

 

I’m a mum to three children. What does that mean to me and to them?  It means I’m their emotional compass, I guide them and help them bring out the best in themselves.

 

But I’m also their chef, their taxi driver, their accountant, their housekeeper, their tutor…….

Mandy Ferry – Party Remedy

 

A mum, for me, is a person who will take multiple roles.

I am not just a mum. I am a strong woman who life teaches everyday how simple things can be easily complicated, or how patient can a person be. I am the happiest person on earth for a fraction of a second and one minute later I can turn that into frustration and disappointment. Fear of failure and the power to decide almost everything.

Being a mum is to understand what unconditional love means.

Florence Guimaraes – Essentials for mums

 

 

You aren’t just a mum rather you are the No 1 supporter of your kids, the mediator of the family and the one that your kids will always turn to help find their smile when it has been lost. You are an inspiring role model who is always being watched by your children to help guide them the right way.

And overall, you are important and special in every way (even on the days you may feel like you’ve failed).

Danielle Bortignon – Clean Living Advocate

 

 

I actually never wanted to be a mum (Isn’t that terrible? Don’t judge me).  I was sure that my life was to be about me, my career, my love of travel, my freedom. But alas; “new plan!” & now I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Being a mum is challenging, painful, exhilarating, exhausting, fulfilling & scary.  But, what I realised along the way is that I am still me.  I still have the same needs and desires, the same outlook on life, the same spirit.

I lost one of my 3 boys at 15 months old.  The experience changed me forever. I don’t know how to describe to you the pain of such a loss. There are no words. It taught me though, that each and every moment is precious. That life isn’t about stuff and things, it’s about experiences and family and love and all the little things.

Had I not known the unconditional love of my children, would I have actually lived?

But I am more than just a mum. I am a strong independent working woman with a career and a business. I am a wife, a lover, a friend. I am still ME.

Carol Marks – Marx Atheletica

 

 

So often I answer the question of “what do you do?” with “I’m mostly a mum”. Followed by “and I run a business in between”. The other week, another mum corrected me; “no, you’re a mum 100% of the time”… and I think that’s the accuracy of ‘what is a mum?’ We’re mum’s ALL the time and we put on and take off other hats on top of that title/job and we do it all while another person demands our undivided attention! For me, the title ‘Mum’ has allowed me to be the most ‘me’ I could be and it’s brought out the things I’m most passionate about.

Lauren Galland – Arbonne

 

I am doubly blessed. I am the mum to twins. They love me unconditionally, as I do them, even though they drive me crazy sometimes. However, I am not “just” a mum. I am a warrior. I survived 8 gruelling rounds of IVF. I have survived cancer. I am a wife. I am a lover. I care. I think. I own a successful (and stressful!) business. I am a delegator. I am a nurturer. I am female. I am grateful.

Naomi Dorland – Twinfo

 

 

It turns out, that being a mum for me, was nothing that I’d fantasised but everything I that I needed.

A mum is the hardest working person on the planet. The hardest, most challenging, most tiring, most trying, most emotional, yet the most rewarding vocation you’ll ever have. Some days are tough, others are amazing but through it all we are reminded that these blessings are only ours for a short time and the seasons of childhood go fast. Take a deep breath and just do what you need to do to get through.

Emma Curulli – Low Tox Mumma

 

You are a mum as well a woman with dreams, wants, needs and desires. They should be your priority and commitment, without guilt or shame around them. You are way more than just a Mum.

Deanna Dolbel – The Inspired Boss

 

After having many challenges falling pregnant and then being blessed with two beautiful children, being a mum is such a precious gift. A mum is someone with an opportunity to hold small lives in their hands and shape them into something great. A mum loves someone more than herself and sacrifices the world to give them everything.

Natalie Churchill – Only Dream Dresses

 

I don’t believe that anything can truly prepare you for being a mum. Unlike a job that comes with a description, tasks and yearly review, a mum starts her “job” the moment that little bundle enters her life (minus a manual).

We are the carers, but we are also the role models to shape their future. We must protect them, but also let them learn for themselves.

Enter 2018, and being a mother seems harder, as we are all of a sudden able to compare ourselves to Sally in another country rather than just Katie down the road. But we also enter a world where we don’t feel as alone and we are able to connect and escape in our pjs through technology. It’s a confusing time for all of us, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.

…And somewhere along our journey we find an all new respect for our own mothers.

Natalie Krivda-Jones – Digital Mums Directory

 

 

 

Take Action

Have you been talking yourself down in your role as a mum? It’s time to re-write that story you’re telling yourself. Take a few minutes to write down a new description of who you are. Read it every day for the next week or even longer, until it’s planted firmly in your mind and you start to feel like it’s really you.